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Recently, much to my confused delight, I found myself perched on a washing machine being energetically fingered by a human male.

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This was an interesting and enthusiastically consented-to state of affairs, attched least of all. Even more interesting: Sharing time! To the smart-asses noting that I prefer talking about sex to, you know, having sex: Sexuality is discursive, bitches. We live in a culture that dichotomizes intimacy. Those sequins!

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A politics of purity — a straight, white, cisgender politics of respectability — often characterizes the former kind of sex. The latter kind of sex is best summarized with the term no strings attached. There is an acronym for no strings attached source: Urban Dictionaryand even a movie source: Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher.

But the main idea is this: People should be get fucking no strings attached to have sex with each other without having to be in a formal romantic relationship, without having to be sexually exclusive, without having to be emotionally intimate, and without having to be friends.

I can dig. This is silly because we are human beings, and have relationships and feelings about literally.

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The lady on the bus. Our fathers. Lots of nl about our fathers. And this is dangerous because sometimes we interpret a lack of romantic obligation to one another as a lack of any ethical obligation at all. This is where shit gets shady. Because ethical sex can be hard. It requires communication. Women fucked up requires consideration. It requires always and every single time, you guys consent.

I get fucking no strings attached feminism is a little to blame. For a long time, and still today, feminists of all kinds have been fighting to destigmatize our sexual decisions. We work against cultural standards that say our bodies — and particularly female, queer, trans, disabled, poor, and of color bodies — are bad, that sex is dirty, and atttached people who have sex especially queer sex or sex for money are evil, dirty skanks.

All too often, this get fucking no strings attached is interpreted not to mean that our sexualities should be destigmatized, but that sex itself is amoral. That sex is some kind of carnival where the rules strkngs normal life are suspended, where human feelings turn off, and where respect is bo Not a Thing.

No strings attached sex is not a thing because we are always, all the time, surrounded by strings.

Urban Dictionary: No strings attached

And some of us? Some of us places for single women to meet men all tied up. Spoiler alert: No strings attached is impossible, atrings society is made of strings. Our ties to each other and to our cultures define who we are. We are connected by the society we share, and we are connected by our experience with each. For a lot of us, the get fucking no strings attached expectations that bond us together can be limiting.

If we are marginalized in some way, we can be choked by harmful stereotypes about who we are, stigmas about our behavior, and material limitations on our mobility and resources.

No Strings Attached Sex (NSA): Can Women Really Do It? | Psychology Today

And sex itself is a tangled, tangled nest of strings: Of messy, unavoidably human, emotional bonds. Of weird myths and stereotypes and discomforts.

As humans with human feelings living in a human culture, sex is always-already dictated by these stories, and part of human bonds. For those of us already tangled up in harmful notions of fuucking and what fuckingg are, sex is extra risky. If we are marginalized in some way, when we have sex, we risk being gossiped gay malemassage, or pregnant and stigmatized for getting an abortion, or pregnant with no access to abortion and no money to support our kids, or raped, or racially stereotyped, or discriminated against for our queerness, or deemed damaged goods.

We live in a gay sex apps, in communities, with other humans. Fuckingg are always, always strings.

In the best case scenario, sex — even fucing sexual encounters with sweet randos in unconventional places — is about connection. Reina Gattuso is passionate about empowering conversations around queerness, sexual ethics, and social movements with equal parts rhapsody and sass.

Her writing has appeared at Time, Bitch, get fucking no strings attached She is currently pursuing her masters. Feministing is a labor of love and all our staff have other full-time jobs to support their work on the site. Your donation is much appreciated, and much get fucking no strings attached.

Many millennials plan to have fewer children than they want. Childcare costs have skyrocketed by percent in the last 25 years.

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In urban areas, it can be even worse. Parents in Washington, D.

What about the pill? Easy, peasy, preventing pregnancy.

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The gynecologist tells Men will not try to have sex with you if they read you calling yourself a lesbian in print. The creepy ones will! The topic of free sex buddy get fucking no strings attached No strings attached sex.

But they can also stifle us. Instead, we parted ways, the air between us glistening with strings. Reina Gattuso Reina Gattuso. We need your help! Donate Now. Join the Conversation.