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Ahuvia University of Michigan and Mara B. Adelman, Ph. Ahuvia Mara B. Mara B. The yake of 27 interviews and the popular media show that many singles see courtship as a shopping trip for a spouse.

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And if you give me the chance to make Marriage a part of your life By the same reasoning McClelland argues that when we can control an external object in the same way we can controll our own body, we come to see that object as part of the self. However, as they were used peraonals the respondents in this study they tended to focus on the short term consumption value of the relationship. An ad in the Chicago Dating Directory November 8 began, "Seeking limited partnership," and in the same issue another ad proclaimed, Wall Street's recommendation for Fogelin writes that a "tendency to use the term 'metaphor' in a generic way that covers a wide range of tropes3 and also in a specific way as the name of a particular trope is common practice in both recent and traditional literature" p.

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Strong balance sheet. Maria, 33 This can cause problems, because the singles interviewed still considered chemistry essential for forming a relationship.

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But when love is offered in exchange for love, the relationship is socially sanctioned. Lori, age unknown The romantic model, on the other hand, stresses passion and impulsiveness rather than the practicality of the market. Seeing the dating process as a job search is perhaps the most fitting of the metaphors discussed in this paper.

Sort of like finding a headhunter and it just expedites the process.

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personaps But when love is offered in exchange for love, the relationship is socially sanctioned. This is just kind of like a job Yet, Gregg 30 claimed that he ed because "there's nothing like seeing fresh meat on the table" but then quickly apologized for being "so callous. Anne 32 cast herself as a savvy comparison shopper when she said, "I know they [male dates] come in different packages This section of the paper, while speculative in nature, is perhaps the most important.

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In a good professional relationship, as in marriage, both parties see themselves as working together to achieve a common end, even if the relationship also contains elements of conflict. Money can buy behavior, but "one cannot buy genuine love with money" Foa and Foap. Dating as an institution began around and was fully established during the s. Because metaphors tend to highlight particular aspects of the experience and downplay others Lakoff and Johnsonseveral types of metaphors may be needed to adequately describe a complex phenomenon.

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Hirsch, A. Even so, our informants' remarks suggest that when singles use the market metaphor, they are not referring to impulse buying.

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They just can't live up to the standard of mass-produced perfection. We know from the work on impulse buying Rook that many purchases follow a model more in line with romantic passion i.

Gallatin, who councils singles on how to meet eligible others, contends that the singles scene "is highly competitive. To achieve this end, Mr. Few liabilities What I looked like. But by thinking about relationships from the perspective of an exchange model, singles could take a more long-term and level headed look at their choices. Ruth 28 and Chuck 29 used almost identical wording to complain that "the dates felt like I was on a job interview.

Of these 19 respondents, 18 used some form of market metaphor. In addition to data from these interviews, citations from other academic work and quotations from the mass media are used to provide a wider cultural context in which to understanding our findings. This is because of the parallelism between the notions of the sacred versus the profane and the singular versus the commodity Kopytoff Levinger, E.

Ahuvia Mara B. That this language is part of public discourse is evident in a prevailing and coherent network of native terms for describing the dating and mating scene.

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Berardo, F. The market metaphor, by seeming to put the sacred up for sale, reduces people and love to a commodity status. Therefore, the dates that emphasized a 14 businesslike efficiency in information exchange can be experienced as antiromantic. Sidney, 30 I hate dating.

The plays of Shakespeare and the opera Tristan and Isolde6 are often cited as examples of the classic conception of romantic love. Take for example Elliot 30who casts himself as the "right product" in describing an increase in his self-confidence in attracting others.

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At a recent conference for nonprofit professionals working with singles, Judi Erlicha Boston-based matchmaker, made the following remarks about her clients. When quoting from the interviews, each subject will be identified by a pseudonym, followed by the subject's age in parenthesis. Murstein, B.